Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
