sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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