you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
