this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
