Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
