He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
