Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
