here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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