Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize