Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
