it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize