If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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