I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
