Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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