To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ok first of all what the fuck
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