pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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