Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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