I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
