Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
