She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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