I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
