I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
