Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
