so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
