She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
