my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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