You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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