Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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