he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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