I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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