Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
