At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Found the puke drawer
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
