With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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