it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
