Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
