Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
