Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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