please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
