So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
