she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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