I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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