she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
