your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
