her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
