When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
