I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
