The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
