Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
