I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
