you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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