Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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