I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
