Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
