My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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