you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
