I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
