I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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