Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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