Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
