i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize