Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
