Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
