I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
