I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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