Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
