I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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