Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
