Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
