im drinking this country out of the recession.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
