Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
FUCK WHALES
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
