Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
