Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
