You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
As shirtless as possible
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
