i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize