Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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