I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
