I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
