Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
