everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
