Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
