It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize