would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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