did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
