I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
