he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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