i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
