Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
