I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Randomize
