u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
