i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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