Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
