Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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