I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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